I surely don't mean to say I haven't had help. I certainly have. And I certainly wouldn't have made it this far without all of the help, love and support from my family and friends. At least, not without losing all of my hair.
But it's always had a negative connotation. "Just" me. For anyone who doesn't know, deciding to become a single parent was THE single hardest decision I've ever made in my life. By a long shot. I still struggle with it often. But I don't regret it. Sometimes, the traditional way just doesn't happen. Sometimes, that's not what is best for everyone, most importantly the child. I had to come to terms with the fact that I wouldn't be living my teenage fairy tale. Getting happily married, buying a house, having children. Just like anyone else, that was the order in which I pictured it.
But you know what? Life happens. And that's okay with me. I wouldn't have the deep appreciation for life, love, family, friends, education and money if life didn't happen the way that it did. And though I question and pray everyday that this path is what is best for Maylene, I know that it is. However non-traditional or non-ideal it may be, this is our life and we are happy with it.
I am happy that it is "just me" who gets to put her to bed at night and wake her up in the morning. I am happy that it is "just me" who gets to share the big smiles with her. And wipe away all of her tears. I am happy that I am the one she wakes up at 3AM when she has a bad dream. I am happy to deal with all of the whining and the tantrums. I am happy to hear her giggling in the backseat. I am happy that, in just 28 days, I will graduate from college and finally be able to give her the life she deserves. I am happy that she has shown "just me" the true importance of life.
